High Conversation

above: The view from Amy and Bruce's house. On special occasions Amy would set up a card table in the den and the children would eat out there. Amy would always cook special food from traditional recipes for these dinners. Then she would announce, “No children at the table; tonight we will have only high conversation.” The first time we had spent the afternoon making several hundred dumplings and she boiled them, shocking them with cold water added to the boiling pot and then skimming off the ones that rose to the top. There would be no talk about the day’s affairs on this night. We would talk about philosophy and manifestations of the “strange force” in history and Amy’s personal experiences in China. These dinners and the conversations with Amy and Bruce have a special place in my memories now, so many years later.

I came as a beggar with very little to add to any of these conversations. These conversations made me deepen my reading about Chinese thought, history and language. I remember Amy, with Bruce translating and adding comments, talking about the concept of sanjiao sizhi or “unity among the Three Teachings or Paths “ of Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucianism. She easily slipped from one teaching to another in philosophical conversation, blending the concepts perfectly. Bruce translated much of this for me and explained that the literati had developed this ecumenical approach from the core teachings of the Complete Realization sect of Taoism. The more ancient text concerning this was Zhouyi Cantongqi, or the Concordance of the Three, according to the Book of Changes of the Zhou Dynasty (the Three being Earth, Man, Heaven, on the outer or macrocosmic level and jing, qi, and zhen on the inner level.) The practice that this text advocated brought Taoism and Confucianism together; only later was Buddhism recognized as an equal. to be continued

Introduction: Meeting the Doctor

This subject is so near and dear to my heart that I have found it difficult to write it down. I start to think," What if Bruce hadn’t invited me to meet Amy? What if Amy had refused to treat me? Where would I be now if these things hadn’t taken place?” But I promised to write this down for Claire.

I first met Bruce at the home of David and Catherine White. He was there to get firewood and I was there working on a book on Chi Kung with David. We talked about his experience in Taiwan and he translated a little bit of Chinese for me. He told me, “You have to come over and meet my wife.” He wrote down his phone number at work at the VA hospital for me. It was the fall of 1984. I had been bitten on the leg by a Brown Recluse spider six months before this and had been very sick ever since then. I was 28 years old and had practiced Chinese martial arts for more than half of my life, but I felt old and sick. I couldn’t really trust my own judgment because I felt so out of sorts ever since I had taken the medicine the doctors gave me to combat the spider’s poison. I didn’t know who to ask for help. My face was blue and I frequently felt dizzy and weak. I had no appetite and I spoke in a low murmur. I went to thir house on the appointed day. Amy answered the door and seemed nonplused; Bruce had forgotten to tell her I was coming. Steve and Pei¬Pei took one look at me and with terror on their faces, ran to their room! I left and came back another day.She had very long hair and she was very serious, and she refused to use any English in my presence! We had tea and Bruce translated as Amy asked me questions. After a while Amy agreed to take my pulse. My life was about to change forever. We sat at the kitchen table and she placed my arm on a red pillow and very gently touched my wrist. I felt a very subtle energy come from her fingertips and go into my body and up to my third eye. Bruce translated as Amy gave me what seemed like a psychic reading covering my complete medical history, all the way back to when I fell out of bed and hit my head on the radiator when I was seven years old. I was in shock to say the least. This was accomplished with a series of questions. Amy then summarized my symptoms and asked the final question, “Do you know why your body is in this state?” I then pulled up my pants leg and showed her the spider bite for the first time. She looked suprised and then relieved. She traced the path of the stomach channel down my leg and said the bite was directly on the channel and very near an extremely important acupuncture point [zusangli, St36]. The air in the room changed, the reading was over, and Amy and Bruce gave me basic instruction on diet. Amy told me to make leek soup and eat the leeks as well. She told me to stop eating ice cream and fried food. She also told me to get fresh moxa and do moxabustion on my center. It took me several days to find moxa in Richmond but I did as she said. Then I went back to see her.That's when she realized she would never get rid of me. Amy told me years later that at first she was a little bit afraid of me, and thus the kids were, because she could tell that I had been poisoned. She didn’t know if I was a bad man who had been poisoned in retribution for something wicked I had done. That’s why she was relieved to see the spider bite. She also told me that she thought telling me I had to make special soup and do moxabustion to myself would get rid of me and so she was suprised when I came back. David was born that fall, I remember when Bruce called from the hospital to tell me. Amy didn’t like my long hair and demanded that I get it cut so that all my chi wouldn’t go to my hair. I decided out of respect for her I would do as she asked. I made an appointment with a barber for the next day. That evening I went to Bruce and Amy’s house and told Amy that I was going to the barber shop the next day. Amy made the most horrible face and was aghast at the prospect of me going to the barber shop. Bruce started laughing and I was completely confused, I was trying hard to do what she asked and she was horrified! Bruce had to explain to me that a Chinese wife wouId never letmar husbanthgo to the barber shop, they cut their husband's hair. Seems a little more than hair cuts goes on at barber shops in China and the wife will not let her huusband go. Amy figured barber shops were the same here.We had a lot of good laughs over the years but that was the first one. I changed my diet for six’ months and felt much stronger. I injured my hand and went to Bruce and Amy for acupuncture in the spring of 1985. This time around she was more comfortable with me and spoke some English. Often I had to go to the house at ten at night, because I was not to come until Bruce got home. One night the needles went in and I turned white as a sheet and started to faint. Amy quickly pulled the needles out and pushed the point under my nose. I remember the look of worry on her face as she worked over me. I had not eaten enough and I remember Amy fussing at me. After that I went to the house every afternoon and dealt with Amy one on one. I was supposed to come over after three in the afternoon but I went early and interupted her meditation.

Amy used to feed me a lot. She was always inviting me to stay for dinner. I had never used chopsticks before but I didn’t tell them that I just picked them up and used them. Amy said I was remembering my past, Chinese, life. I learned my Chinese table manners by Steve and Pei-Pei laughing at me when I did something wrong. Sometimes she would take my pulse and very solemnly say “No noodles today.” I'd crack up laughing and she’d start laughing too! Noodles and needles just sounded the same to her. Over the months her English got better and better. She said I had an unusual problem that she had only seen once before. Bruce got into MCV at this time and was placed under the stress of Medical school as well having a wife and three kids at home. I resolved to try to help anyway I could. I used to babysit David, like when Amy had her wisdom teeth taken out or when she went back to Taiwan.Sometimes Amy would call me up and ask me to come over."I can't be the bad guy and the good guy simultaneously. They need to blow off steam. I'll leave and you let them play, just make sure no one gets hurt." David would look around and smile and say "Mommy is gone...let's be bad!" and they would have a big pillow fight. I was awed at the way East and West met in their house and merged into something superior. Amy cooked all of Bruce’s food [no hospital food for him] and kept the stress down at home so that he could focus on school. The children were such a blessing and they were such a happy family that I felt lucky to be able to go spend an hour or two each day with them. I always felt better after going to Bruce and Amy’s whether I got treatment or not. I will always love this family for what they did for me. Anytime I tried to thank Amy she would always say "Don't mention it." Scroll down for part one